I Am Ready

Today’s not my conventional rout nary. When I say conventional, 9a I wake up and my day starts playing with my angel before everything else.

Today’s a distinctive time for me. The time I felt so alone and I wanted to just cry helplessly. I felt so vulnerable. I suddenly felt like going away for awhile. So I grabbed my phone, tip tap, message sent! After a couple of text messages sent, my mobile kept ringing. Friends, they really are heaven sent, I didn’t answer though. I didn’t have the spirit to say hello… I didn’t trust my voice, it might just betray me.

I went away.

I had my own time. I have opted to keep myself absent from the tiring and eventful world I’m into, even for just awhile. Friends kept calling, they never give up. They sent words of hope, encouragement and love. I wish I could buy all of it… but my mind’s not so acquiescing at this point. I still have to convince myself, more. Loneliness is not something you feel because you just feel like feeling it. The sentiment of emptiness is not simple to put up with. You go through this phase once, twice or a lot of times. And it is but only you who can put an end to it… your spirit and determination to keep it going.

I settled myself in a serene spot. There, I obtain the stillness that I’ve been missing. I cried, to my heart’s content. No one’s stopping me from doing so… and I was thankful for that. I prayed. I asked for a sign, an indication that what I’m about to decide on is just right. And then, a long pause. I heard a tune; I didn’t know if it was just a twist of fate, still I felt appeased.

'Cause I'm lost and alone
I've been wandering
Long enough to know
Humbly I search for you
And I'm not gonna rest
Till you

Choose me
Use me
Sometimes I feel so alone
I'm on my way back home
So why don't you

Direct me
Bless me
Wash me whiter then the snow
I'm on my way
Back home

How magnificent what a prayer can make happen. And then it was time to set off. My phone has stopped ringing.

36missed calls. 10messages received.

Tip tap, “I’m ready to go back.” Message sent!