Spot The Difference

I have come to realize, the more I mature and experience life, that for all my youthful optimism and confidence, I have yet to decipher women. There have been times when I was sure I had, but it was never permanent. Before long, some woman came by and threw a wrench in my devious scheme to decode their language and get to the bottom of what makes them tick and think the way they do.

This is not a bad thing though and men today need to grasp this simple fact. It is simply not meant to be. Women, men and the sheer complexity of our differences; well, it is perfectly acceptable, if not normal. We just have to learn to accept it is all. Hell, even embrace it.

Is this even possible? Can men, in our stubborn refusal to put up with the facets of the female character that flummox us, suck them up and deal? I say yes and by inference, I think the opposite as well. It is in the interests of both sexes to gain tacit appreciation, if not approval, for the traits that make them male or female. These traits are inbred, and although I believe we can control our actions as human beings, there are more powerful forces at work that drive us to behave the way we do.

WAR OF THE SEXES

Men and women are different. Big revelation there. And in order to preserve our sanity, we should stop trying to agree and please each other all the time. Let us admit freely, once and for all -- and without fear of reprisal -- that we do not see eye to eye on certain key points.

If men and women were blunt about their contradictory views on the following topics, the world would be a more pleasurable place to have a relationship.

COMMITMENT

The disparity in opinion between the sexes is huge. We both make concessions and overcome doubts when we choose a mate, but men have more trouble with the concept of commitment.

Is it because we have a biological and primordial need to sow our seeds and procreate? The jury is out on that one and to me, it sounds like an excuse. Have we not evolved to the point where we can accept and embrace monogamy? Sure, and for the most part, men do. But for so many of us, commitment is a mental struggle. Comedian Chris Rock said it best: "Men don't commit. We surrender." We have constant reservations about commitment (not that woman isn’t). Popular culture, the media and society in general glamorizes players and more than ever, applauds actors, athletes and artists who bury their bones in more than one backyard.

The backward belief that men have to conquer women like Genghis Khan is prevalent. I turn on the television now and all I see are reality shows, music videos and mainstream programs that glorify the pimp. On the one hand, I love all the gratuitous nudity, but I wonder: Who are our role models? Dad? Dad had a woman in every town!

How can men commit with so much temptation around them? Our culture is more liberal and sexual than ever before (no protests here, but I see commercials now that insinuate lesbian and group sex) and while I am not so naïve to think it only affects the ability of men to commit, I do believe that women, given the opportunity, will welcome commitment and marriage more readily.

Men will always have a tendency to wonder from time to time if the grass is greener on the other side.

SEX

Women like to "make love." They like the sensation the phrase evokes. It arouses their passion and desire. They want us to "make love" to them. The question for men is what is the distinction here? We have sex, we (insert expletive here), but do we make love?

Sure, there are times when the act turns out to be more emotional than sexual. I can testify to that. But the majority of the time, it is not love that drives us to get it on. It is lust. Pure, carnal lust and I posit that the end result for the average woman is much more explosive if we focus on lust and not love, or perhaps a combination of both.

One woman's take on sex, and the area where men and women are most different..

One female I speak to about these matters made a frank confession. "I say 'make love to me' all the time and my husband responds in kind because I need to hear it. But then when we start to 'make love' it evolves into pure (insert expletive and synonym for rough sex). I think I say 'make love' and want him to say it because it helps put me in the mood. Once I get horny, all I want to do is (expletive)."

I think most women in happy relationships feel the same way. This is fine with men, as long as we can agree that our outlook on sex is not the same. Why dispute nature? When we cooperate, the outcome is pretty sweet, right?

Most men do cuddle, spoon and engage in pillow talk with their partners (casual sex partners are another matter). We need affection too. But when it comes to the act of sex alone, why should women be alarmed if we have a problem associating love with it?

We know it's nothing personal; sex is sex -- love is love. Men shouldn't be forced to combine them. When we're in the mood to "make love," we will. When all is said and done, everyone's happy and satisfied.

COMMUNICATION

Communication by far, is the area where men and women are most dissimilar. Men think in terms of black and white. It is either one thing or another -- there is no in between. Answers are never complex for a man. If, for example, your woman has a problem, the solution is simple, or at least so you think. All you want to do is find resolutions to problems. Men are about results.
Women, on the other had, do not necessarily want solutions. They want to talk it out. They want to express how they feel. No matter how obvious the answer, they want us to listen, empathize and offer feedback. But men just want to solve stuff and move on: to the game, to dinner, to sex, or to the next problem. This is always a source of contention in couples.

Observe:
Female: You're just nodding your head to shut me up. You're not listening. You hear, but you don't listen! Sometimes I think you don't care at all.
Male: You're totally overreacting. Stop taking everything so personally. My intentions are good. I'm trying to offer constructive advice here.
Female: I don't need advice. I need to be listened to by someone who supposedly loves me.
Sounds familiar? Who's right here?
Well, neither really. It's not even about right and wrong, which is a problem guys have with their significant others. Our pride compels us to try to "win" arguments instead of resolve them.
The point here is that men want to help their partners with what we deem to be constructive advice, while women just want an ear and a shoulder. We should shift our focus on their needs and they should appreciate that as men, our instinct is to rush to her aid and make it all better.

AGREE TO DISAGREE

That should be a comforting thought to women out there, don't you think, guys? Men just want to make everything better. Sometimes it's so our girlfriends and wives will just shut up already, but most of us good guys out there want to be our woman's hero and make her happy.

Now can't we all just get along? Vive les differences!

By Lawrence Mitchell
Relationship Corresponden / The Difference Between Men And Women

Why

Song fits my sentiments at this exact moment.. Tell me, why?..

Why

Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart
Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even when you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to hurt this wayI need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?

Tell me, why

Advise

Advice is what we seek for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t..

At A Loss

TORETE

Sandali na lang
Maari bang pagbigyan
Aalis na nga
Maaari bang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay
Sana ay maabot ng langit ang iyong mga ngiti
Sana ay masilip
Wag kang mag-alala
Di ko ipipilit sa 'yo
Kahit na lilipad ang isip ko'y torete sa 'yo

Ilang gabi pa nga lang
Nang tayo'y pinagtagpo
Na parang may tumulak
Nanlalamig, nanginginig na ako
Akala ko nung una
May bukas ang ganito
Mabuti pang umiwas
Pero salamat na rin at nagtagpo

Torete, torete, torete ako
Torete, torete, torete sa 'yo

Cards On The Table

While rummaging through some things last night, I found a letter written to me that contained the phrase, “I will never hurt you...ever.” This statement seems ludicrous when I read it now because the person who wrote it actually ended up hurting me more than anyone else ever could. Such a glowing promise! Such intent she had! So why was she unfaithful? Why was she unable to follow through with it? I think the words "I will never hurt you" are far too much for anyone to live up to, and those words put to promise and pen only called for them to be defied in the highest way possible. "I will not hurt you ever...at least until a week after you get this letter, sorry."

It would be so much easier, so much more honest really, if we started things out by saying, “I am going to hurt you, I just want you to be aware of this before anything happens.” How could we not endear the person who sidestepped all the formalities and games and pretenses of dating and just skipped to the most important part? I am going to hurt you, this I know for sure. And probably more than anyone else, because my feelings for you are going to grow and grow and grow until I can’t possibly contain them. Inevitably it will lead to me doing something stupid and selfish that hurts you, but all the while I just want to be closer to you. I just don’t know how to do that.

It would be so much easier if we brought things out on the table from the first night on, letting whomever we were with know and be confident with the fact that eventually we are going to screw things up. Eventually a birthday will be forgotten or a phone call left unreturned, or a reckless night with someone else confessed over breakfast at your favorite coffeeshop. This way, if I am entirely honest with you from the beginning of things, from the very sprout of love, you won’t be surprised when I screw things up. The less surprise we encounter the more logical we can be about things, and the more likely we can both say, “Well, we knew this would happen, so it can’t be all that bad.”

I wish that note would have read, “I will hurt you because I am not a perfect person, and I need you to love that about me, and I will love that about you.” I don’t think it would have changed the outcome of that relationship, but I think it would have changed my reaction to it. I wouldn’t have been as shell-shocked as I am, and that reaction wouldn't have shaped the way I have decided I will be in all of my relationships, how scared I am all the time that people will eventually leave me. I think I would have been able to look back on those words and realize that I made a commitment to love this person’s humanity, their flaws, their grouchy side and the mistakes they make, and I would have been able to remain friends with that person today.

I *want* that note to have said that so that I could have expected the end, but too often we don’t get what we expect, and we spend too much time expecting what we want. Too often we miss what we’re getting. I want to say now I'm far too human sometimes, far too flawed and malnourished for affection, and I need you to know that now and try to love me for it. But the best I'd be able to come up with, it seems, is I'm sorry.

(borrowed from trailerparkjesus)

Ask And You Shall Receive

“Sana po manalo ko sa lotto.” “Sana po gumaling na sakit ng lolo ko.” “Sana po magtino na asawa ko.” “Pls dear Lady, give me a loving and faithful boyfriend.” “Oh my gosh, bless me dear Lady, I want to be promoted na sa work, “Maka-graduate na po sana ko, 7 taon na po ko sa College Dear Lady of Manaoag…” etc, etc. Nakakabingi, just standing there, parang I hear all of their prayers.

Our Dear Lady of Manaoag Church, Pangasinan. Most of them say she’s miraculous. Maraming nagpatotoo, bumabalik sila sa Manaoag to say thank you for granting their prayers. Imagine those people who go there, from all parts of the country. Individuals from all walks of life, they are there for a sole intention… for their prayers to be granted. You have to bear a 4-5hour trip from manila, without the ridiculous traffic, 6hours if there is. Parking slots are chock-full. Within the church premises, it’s really crowded (pwede na kayong magkapalitan ng mukha ng katabi mo, in fairness). You have to tolerate a long (and I mean really looong) line for you to lay a hand on the image and say your short (5seconds lang, take note) prayer and petitions.

I went to Manaoag for a certain petition, yes. It is something I have been long praying for. Kasama na sa lahat ng nagsisimba at pumipila para mahawakan yung miraculous image, isa na doon yung request ko na sana i-grant Niya. Although I’m not sure if She’d give me a YES answer to it, at least I tried. Kaya lang sabi nila dapat pag nag-request ka doon definite raw yung hihingin mo and whole-hearted ka. I’m not asking for something unworkable or impossible, so I deem it’ll be handed to me if not now, in next to no time at least.

I am moved, sincerely. How people keep up with their dedication and faith in God considering the things that’s been happening to us right now. The catastrophic tsunami, scarcity, battles here and there, disastrous typhoons, ruinous landslides and accidents. Truly, ‘when there’s no else to turn to… we turn to God.’ That’s what we always say. I know people go to Manaoag for their personal petitions; they want some things for themselves. Still I regard it as an act of devotion. We cling on to the Lord’s promise, ‘ask and you shall receive.’ I realized how one can be faithful and humble for their requests and prayers, thus having their hopes granted.

What’s important, we believe; may it be pleads for ourselves or for the whole mankind.

A Few And Far Between Tune

I woke up first light and stumbled on. Last night was just another fantasy night; a castle in the sky delimited by gloomy, bleak billows.

‘Putangina!’ "That’s my usual remark first thing in the morning.” He said. We'd always brawl over, on him being constantly pessimistic. He considers his soul as a one-big-joke kind of existence. I dredged up telling him once to change his cock-crow practice. That he must welcome the break of day with a bright beam and an optimistic sentiment. I take a crack to at least encourage and sway him to the same direction I head on. I always endeavor to be so positive about life, at all times hopeful to whatever the future holds for me. I believe it’s the only way to make progress and get things better for one who reckons that his existence’ not worthy in any way.

I have always known myself for being in control, and at all times on top of things. But I consistently am not up to snuff (weak) when it comes to dealing with him. Surely it has something to do with affection. It is still here. It hasn’t changed much, more so; I don’t even think it’ll dwindle almost immediately.

Old habits (or feelings) die hard.

I went through a difficult, testing phase just to mend and put everything back together. It was hard-hitting; nevertheless I’d say it’s all worth it. The serenity and the contentment I have long prayed for were handed to me slowly like a dream. Pero bakit ganon? Nandito na naman… binabalik na naman lahat sa akin. Whatever happened to my hegemony and self-control? I thought I have vowed to keep myself guarded from hurt and despondency? Mahihirapan na naman ba ako? Pucha, iiyak na naman?

At one point in the past, I thought we were sharing something special. Until it was smacked into my face I solely imagined chimera. All the while, I was traveling to the dreamland on my own, single-handed. I never had seen in my mind’s eye to go back. Not again, ever.

This time it’ll be all different? I don’t know… Who knows? Doesn't look so promising to me.

This morning when I stirred up, I sang a few and far between tune. I opened my eyes, sighed, and with a low voice I said to myself…

…”Putangina!”

I Wonder

The usual hectic, spirited Greenbelt3 was extra sparkling and loud tonight. Intimates were just everywhere. Each corner, every spot, you’ll see bunch of people, families, friends, workmates and couples hanging around, having an enjoyable time. And it’s a Monday for crying out loud!

I was one of them.

Okay.. people were not so excited about Valentine’s. From the house, the usual 30mins or less to Makati CBD took me an hour plus, parking slots jam-packed, waited for about 30-45mins to get a table in the bistro, another 30mins before our orders were dished up, and movie tickets were all almost sold out. Yeah, people weren’t keyed up at all.. they were not!

How marvelous what the L-O-V-E word can make happen. One can in fact make his/her loved-ones feel important every single day though, not just during Feb14.

And I wonder why do we all have to wait for Valentine’s Day?..

.. I wonder.

The V-Day!

Feb14 is in next to no time at hand. It’s the V-day!

For most of us, it without a doubt signifies something. “Love is in the air” that’s what everybody says. We look forward to flowers, chocolates, love texts, and love cards, etc, etc. Love efforts… Whatever it is that would make us women or even for men, feel so special and loved. Be it straight from your long-time fantasy or from your long-lost horrific walking nightmare.

Valentine’s one important calendar day. But for some single, unattached, unmarried (separated o single parents pwede rin), lonely individual, V-day’s just one of those days where people indulge themselves to believing true love still exists and that it could still work.

What is in fact so bracing with it? Yeah, maybe nothing’s so distinctive but undeniably this Feb14 thing is something that we all look forward to. Kahit pa nga sabihin mo nang baduy, corny and cheesy.. For sure, yung mga taong nagsasabi non, bukas makakasalubong mo rin sa Greenbelt3, may ka-date and naka-red outfit pa!

Valentine’s gives hope. It keeps our faith in love. And that the promise it says are all true and worth keeping. It jogs our memory that love is such an inexplicable, wonderful feeling to feel. You'll discover that real love is millions of miles past falling in love with anyone or anything. When you make that one effort to feel compassion instead of blame or self-blame, the heart opens again and continues opening. And as you continue to send out love, the energy returns to you in a regenerating spiral... As love accumulates, it keeps your system in balance and harmony. Love is the tool, and more love is the end product.

So don’t lose faith in love… It is when we lose hope that we fail in love.

To you all head-over-heels, infatuated, hooked, besotted, lovesick, and love-struck people… Love, be in love, give love and stay in love.

Happy V-day!

Don't Worry, Be Happy

12 Ways To Be Happier
By Eddie Chandler Stress Management Specialist


Happiness is a state of mind. Everyone has days when things don't go well. But chronic unhappiness can affect your health, your career and your relationships. Barring any medical problems or long-term depression that may require medication and professional help, you can control your happiness quotient.

Focus on being happy, and you'll feel and look better. Here are some tips that will help:

1- Be optimistic
View life in a positive way, and you'll surprise yourself with how energized and happy you feel. Remember; women gravitate towards men who are upbeat and positive.
2- Gain perspective
See the big picture in your life and don't let little setbacks upset you. Keep reaching for your goal, whether it's to become vice president, pay off the mortgage or have a long-lasting marriage. You will encounter stumbling blocks along the way; keep your eye on the prize and avoid becoming unhappy over minor problems.
3- Be thankful
Show people some appreciation. Thank a colleague for his assistance. Congratulate a coworker on a successful project. Say a kind word to the waitress who brings you your morning coffee. Give that homeless man you pass on the street a few coins, and be grateful that your life is a happy one.
4- Enjoy life
Make time for yourself and things you enjoy doing: polish your car; do some minor repairs around the house; watch television; go see a show. Make yourself a priority and do what you enjoy. Treat yourself once in a while. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said; "It is a happy talent to know how to play."
5- Take care of your body
Eat well and exercise. Join a gym, take up running or participate in sports. The camaraderie of being part of a team and going out with your teammates after the game will be beneficial to your body and mind.
6- Change your schedule
Alter your daily routines and you will find new energy. Maintain a clear division between work and recreation, and leave room for fun activities and quiet times of reflection.
Find out if you're subconsciously holding yourself back from being happy…
7- Keep in touch with people
Remember how you felt when you received an unexpected call from an old buddy? Send an e-mail to someone or call old friends and relatives for no other reason than to say "hi."
8- Be creative
Find an outlet for your creative energy. This might involve building or renovating, cartooning or painting, writing, or even landscaping. No matter how busy you are, or how lousy you feel at the end of a week, if you make time for creative activities, you will be happier and healthier.
9- Find a significant other
Sharing experiences with someone you love will boost your happiness. Unconditional love will make you feel secure and content. Sex can also have great health benefits for your body and mind.
10- Talk to someone
Have a "go-to guy" -- a best buddy you can talk to about anything. Your go-to guy won't judge you or try to solve your problems; he'll listen because he knows you'll do the same for him.
11- Dream
Write down your ambitions and slowly fulfill them. You'll have things to look forward to, and somewhere to focus your energy.
12- Forgive
Maybe it's time to forgive someone (or yourself) for something that was said or done. If you were passed over for a promotion or lost your job due to corporate restructuring, recognize that you cannot rewrite history. Accept it and let it go. Regain control of your happiness by letting go of past letdowns.

"don't worry, be happy."

"We create happiness." In the real world, we cannot expect other people to create happiness for us. It is a state of mind that is entirely within your control.

Make your environment one that offers opportunities to recognize and enjoy the positive aspects and good things in life. Strive to be happy.

A Smile In Your Heart

I had a feeling that you're holding my heart
And I know that it is true
You wouldn't let it be broken apart
'Cause it's much too dear to you
Forever we'll be together
No one can break us apart
For our love will truly be
A wonderful smile in your heart

When the night comes and
I'm deep in your arms
How I feel so much more secure
You wouldn't let me close my eyes
So I can see you through and through
You're a sweet tender lover
We are so much in love
I'm not afraid when you're far away
Just give me a smile in your heart

You brighten my day
You're showing me my direction
You're coming to me
And giving me inspiration
How could I ask for more
From you my dear
Maybe just a smile in your heart

I'm always dreamin' of being in love
But now I know that this is true
Since you came into my life
It's true love that I had found
I pray that you wouldn't leave me
Whatever may come along
But if you do I won't feel so bad
Just give me a smile in your heart

Maybe just a smile in your heart

The Past

It’s true… No matter how happy you are now or how far away you’ve come, you will always dream of going back.

It was something I have proven last night. For one to be able to move forward completely, he or she would need to go back, in one way or another. ‘Going back’ would mean embracing times of yore; Acceptance of things that’s over and done. And the realization, you have become a better person after the misery the past has whacked you.

Things between us haven’t changed much; or at least for me. Except of course for the fact, we have managed to live our lives individually and unconnected with each other. He looked good. Well, given that he seemed able-bodied superficially, other than that, he said he was still pretty much the same. I saw longing in his eyes. He yearns for serenity, contentment or affection maybe? Only he knows.

As for myself, I have confirmed my genuine sentiment. I am okay. I have successfully survived the path to mending and recuperation. I got hold of what I have been long working for; have been long praying for. The familiar affection’s still there, nonetheless. I’m guessing it’ll take time for it to peter out. In any case, I’m game to hold my horses and let fate hand over to me my most awaited outcome.

For now, I am all right.

It’s good. It’s all good.

Shall We Dance?

shall we dance?

I had a spare time for ease last night. We dined at Recipes Greenbelt3, movie and chitchat over a hot Café Mocha at Starbucks. This was one of the not so many times I’m able to lighten up and catch up with some friends. Work’s a little demanding and I’ve to hack it.

There’s nothing left there to watch. We saw ‘Meet the Fockers’ already and ‘Elektra’ didn’t look so appealing. We settled on ‘Shall we dance?’ Love story as usual. Some of them who saw the film na, sabi hindi daw maganda kasi parang hindi naman bida sa J.Lo sa story… Eh wala naman akong pakialam kay J.Lo kaya okay lang.

Story siya ng mga taong feeling nila may kulang pa rin sa buhay nila kahit na nasa kanila na almost everything. Mga taong hindi kuntento… well, who is? Lahat naman hindi kuntento di ba? ‘Shall we dance?’ is a story of all sentiments. Lahat ng klase ng emotion pinakita sa movie. There was joy, sadness, emptiness, longing. There was denial, disagreement, tolerance, acceptance… there was love. Feel good film. The moral was moving.

Naiyak ako, promise! Yung ginamit nilang words sa drama scenes, masyadong affecting. The entirety of the film, I’d say it’s rather good. Naapektuhan talaga ko… hanggang makauwi nga ko iniisip ko pa rin yung scenes, the words they said, and how the story ended. Hindi naman siya extra-ordinary kind of kwento. Actually, maybe that’s one of the reasons why I liked the film… it happens in actual existence. Di ba ganon naman talaga? Kung saan yung nakaka-relate ka, kung saan yung tingin mo totoong-totoo yung storya ng pinapanood mo, kung saan nali-link mo sya sa sariling story ng buhay mo… naa-appreciate mo.

After watching the film, I thought ang dami ko palang dapat ipag-thank you. Most of the time kasi parang ang dami-dami ko pang reklamo, when I almost have everything. I’ve a stable job, nagrereklamo ko pag maraming trabaho… pag wala naman, mas nagrereklamo ko. Alam mo yun, parang kahit saan lumugar si Lord sablay pa rin tingin natin… Bad. Tsk. Na-realize ko rin na I shouldn’t weigh up about what other people might think of me. Kung ano gusto kong gawin, saan ako masaya, for as long as wala akong inaagrabyadong iba…

..I should be proud because I am happy and I love what I am doing.

On My Mind - I Love To Love

Someday my prince will come. He’ll come into my life (that is, if he still hasn’t yet) and sweep me off my feet.

In a sea of angsty Avril and melancholic Sarah Mac, fans, I still swoon over love songs with predictable melodies and sating (read: nakakasuka) love-conquers-all themes. I get kilig over mushy chick flick lies and romantic novels, and have pretended to be the bida in one too many romantic comedies. I choose to join bandwagon of believers rather than the throng of bitter cynics who loath love, see Cupid as a little demon, and are disgusted by mush.

Not that I haven’t wavered before. I’ve seen hearts get broken and fools settle for far-from-healthy relationships. I’ve even experienced heartbreak myself. And just like the sad love songs put it, it wasn’t fun at all. No happy pill worked, no hospital admitted the dying-from-a-broken-heart patient, not even a gallon of Haagen Dazs strawberry ice cream helped. After buckets of tears cried over “The One Who Didn’t Seem To Notice,” “The One Who Went Away,” and “The One Who Took Me For Granted,” I felt like giving up and bidding my love dreams goodbye.

I found out, however, that every time I got back on my feet and was happily solo, or after each time I mended my heart, or following every improved relationship dynamic, love still promised so much despite, in spite of, and precisely because of the nitty-gritty details that initially make it unbearable.

Despite.. I’ve had my share of dateless nights, silent phone lines, and empty cell phone inboxes. I’ve played third, fifth, and seventh wheel to gooey-eyed couples holding hands under the table. And just like you probably have, I’ve endured nosy titas’ “Ba’t wala ka pang boyfriend?” hirits. I’ve hugged my pillow tightly, whispered sweet nothings to it, kissed it good night. And despite the lack of a lover, I still find so much reason to revere romance.

There’s something enchanting about love, even during no-boyfriend days. Without a face on your Prince Charming and with a yet-to-be-defined passion set-up, sky’s the limit to your fantasies. You have license to dream about The One—from Brad Pitt to the boy next door—and own him your imagination. You can gawk at happy couples, be inspired by their OA love spiels, and practice for the ones that are yet to come for you. Love can still be grand even if you don’t have it. Being bitter that you don’t only drives it further away.

In spite of.. It’s so true: The more you love, the more you hate—and hurt. And with the lambing, hugs and kisses that any relationship brings, come raised voices, tears, and pains. The sparks of romance can fuel fires, butterflies in the stomach can one day make it churn, and wobbly knees can turn into cold shoulders. There are racked-up cell phone bills, month-saries blocked off on your calendar, dents in your bank account, events you can’t wiggle your way out of (office parties, barkada gimiks, family functions where you’re sure to be grilled). Not to forget suddenly severed heart--- and hearts, those are broken little by little every day. Love reality bites—and it bites hard.

I’ve had those moments, my eyes swollen in post-bawl trauma; seen and heard things I shouldn’t have, been disgustedly affected by petty things, and have had pick up the fragments of my fragile heart off the floor. But in spite of the disasters of devotion, I still choose to love–any day.

It’s during such heated times that you see so much of what you actually have: behind the cries of affection, streaks of jealousy, and overprotective tendencies of a lover, you find that desperate need to be cherished and reassured. Nothing can beat the magic of making up and the challenge of making everything better—either for the both of you or for your solo self. More importantly, it’s also during these brawls when you have the opportunity to choose to stick out or move on to dream of—and live out even greater love stories.

Because of.. Why do I love to love? Let me count the ways: morning, noon, and night text tabs, tender kisses, passionate hugs, HHWWMPSSP (holding hands while walking, may pa-sway-sway pa), caring and carnal compliments, meaningful glances, knowing silences. The joys of seeing you turn into the princess that you deserve to be. Of all the perks of passion, what I love most are the dreams it provides for the loveless, the reality it offers to those who have it, and the challenges it poses to those who want to make it work.

Yes, someday my prince will come. And we’ll live happily ever after.

Office Romance 101

They say never mix business with pleasure, but what happens when you suddenly find yourself entangled in a romantic relationship with your workmate?

Just like the school, the workplace offers countless possibilities of Mr. Maybes and Mr. Rights ---as well as Mr. Wrongs… “Office romances are inevitable.” Obviously, after spending eight to ten hours in the office each day, you can’t help but develop strong feelings of attraction towards a hunky co-worker smelling shower-fresh and wearing OC – polished, shiny leather shoes. And if you play your cards right, he might just like you back.

Happily ever after? Not quite.

While the usual conundrums arise, another setback appears to management’s say, which falls under ‘office policies’ on employees engaging in office romance. Years ago, such relationships were considered taboo due to perception that romantic rendezvous in the workplace only brought risks, not rewards. But in recent years, society has become more open and loosened up in the rules on such, even going as far as deleting the ‘ no dating colleagues’ policy in company handbooks.

However, even if management has eased up on the ‘no dating’ policy, there’s another peril to ponder; catty co-workers. The grapevine works double time once people sniff out your romance, and both of you will have to endure a myriad of comments and ribbings. Not a pretty prediction at all if you want your love to last…

So before you give in to your urges and get into a relationship with an officemate, heed the guidelines:

• Friends muna. ‘Don’t rush into passion.’ Becoming friends with your soon to be partner can only work to your advantage—your friendship will serve as a buttress to the romantic aspect of your relationship.
• Love in tennis means zero. Dating someone doesn’t allow and will never equal power. If you feel you deserve that long-awaited raise, find ways to make your boss aware of your strengths – and not through come-hither tactics. Consider the consequences of dating your boss or someone from upper management. If you can’t hack it, don’t.
• Be discreet. You don’t have to keep your relationship under wraps, but coming out of the closet doesn’t mean flaunting your status as a couple. Decorum should be your number virtue in the workplace. Keep your pride and your relationship intact and shy away from gossip piranhas. Remember, there’s a right time and place for everything.
• No two-timing. When you start dating someone at work, arm yourself with the knowledge that your love life will resemble an open book. Unless you have a star-complex need to be center of attention, playing your relationship by the book will definitely pay off. Lest you aim to ruin your reputation and career standing, spare your co-workers the office drama and don’t let yourselves become coffee break topic.
• No hanky-panky. Sure, having your boyfriend around is a welcome treat to dispel the dreariness of the office doldrums. But under your boss’ watchful eye, this may not be the case. Honey-moon stage or not focusing all your energy on your guy all the time might distract you from your daily duties or worse, be biased about certain decisions concerning him.

This is why it is important to conduct your business interactions in a professional manner and demonstrate you’re A-list dedication to work. Set your priorities in line and know when to (and when not to) turn the sugariness on full rave-up.

So, would you engage yourself into a roller coaster ride kinda' link or thank you, you'd rather not?

No Matter What's There To Find

There are moments that mark your life; moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same. And time is divided into two segments, before this and after this. Sometimes you can feel such a moment coming. That's the test.. Or so I tell myself. I tell myself at times like these, resilient people goes on, they move forward any way.. No matter what's there to find.

Sweet Love

Sweet love

With all my heart I love you, baby
Stay with me and you will see
My arms will hold you, baby
Never leave, 'cause I believe

I'm in love, sweet love
Hear me calling out your name, I feel no shame
I'm in love, sweet love
Don't you ever go away, it'll always be this way

Oh your heart has called me closer to you
I will be all that you need
Just trust in what we're feeling
Never leave 'cause baby, I believe

In this love, sweet love
Hear me calling out your name, I feel no shame
I'm in love, sweet love
Don't you ever go away, it'll always be this way

No stronger love in this world
Oh baby no, you're my man, I'm your girl
I'll never go, wait and see, can't be wrong
Don't you know this where you belong

Sweet, sweet and lovely baby
Stay right here, never fear
I will be all that you need
Never leave, 'cause baby, I believe

Waiting Game

Waiting game

I've spent too much time
Waiting for you in vain
I can't hear your voice
Although I call your name
I can't go on but I still hang on just the same
I've spent endless nights
Crying you name out loud
But still remain
Alone in an empty crowd
As time goes on I realize you'll never change

I say a prayer
I count the hours
I hear a voice but it's not yours
I count the score
I can't go on playing the waiting game

*
If you should ever change your mind
I'll be there just call my name
Until then I'll be playing the waiting game

I've waited too long
Wishing my life away
Convincing myself
Tomorrow you'd change your ways
I can't go on but I still hang on just the same

I say a prayer
I count the hours
I hear a voice but it's not yours
I count the score
I can't go on playing the waiting game
All you left me with emptiness
Now everyday seems the same
You've gone but I'm still playing the waiting
game

If you should ever change your mind
I'll be there just call my name
Until then I'll be playing the waiting game
I've waited too long for you to change your ways

Playing the waiting game
All you left me with emptiness
Now everyday seems the same
You've gone but I'm still playing the waiting
game

---swing out sister