"Do you need me because you love me? Or do you love me because you need me?"
Most of the time they question, ”Why do you love him?" What’s keeping you?” “Does he love you?” and at an instant I react by giving them a big smile on my face… Not because I didn’t know what to say or I am not sure on how to elucidate. The beam was actually more of telling them, “I need not to answer or best for you not to know.” I ponder now, really… “Why do I love him? What’s keeping me?” “Does he love me?”
He once asked me, “What is love?” It was a simple question, thought-provoking nonetheless. I didn’t really get it at first. Would somebody please satisfy my curiosity how it is in fact related to American Accent Training? “Are you serious?” It was just a question in my mind, I didn’t dare to ask. Until I sensed that it was just one of those days that he wanted to make his students feel disconcerted. Sad piece of it, I am part of the few unfortunate chosen ones and it was compulsory to give an answer. “Love for me is unconditional… blah, blah, blah.” Cheesy, but that’s what I remember saying. If my memory serves me right as well. Next question please. “Who would you rather choose? Person you love or person who loves you?” “The person who loves you…etcetera.” I was not in the mood to explicate, the aura was just too disorienting for me at that exact moment. I didn’t even know why I chose the latter. Just right after I answered the third and final question, I walked out of the room with a relief, with an unsettled sentiment though. “It was unfair! How come I got those questions and the others didn’t?” Well, that was just what’s in my thoughts… I cannot dispute, he is my trainer and he’s got the license. It actually comes with the title.
That was around 5 months ago. Time flies.
It is only now that I get to mull over it and I was driven to go beyond those questions. In my real existence, I opt for the person I love. It is my spirit and my faith that keeps my certainty in love. I am always set to sacrifice, dedicate and give up everything… And I sincerely mean everything. I will at all times endure every hurt and pain it’ll create. I will always go for the things, the people and the situations based on what I rightly feel within. I am proud and pleased of the choices I make. I am ceaselessly prepared to be there for that sole being and demand zero in return. Regardless of all, be loved back or not. Unconditional, that is my faithful definition of love and I must say I am genuinely living up with it…
I am guessing at this point, I have answered two out of the three questions. Still unsure of something I am supposed to be sure of… It is not for me to fulfill the last of it.
