Once In A Lifetime

ONCE IN A LIFETIME
Freestyle

When thinkin' bout you baby
And I don't know what to do,
All I think about is you
Seems everythin' around me,
Things are never understood,
The only sense when I'm with you
Oh I've heard it all before
Finding so called love,
Then you leave it behind,
But now I feel so sure,
I listen to my heart this time,
So I lay it on the line..

I know that what I've found is once in a lifetime
And I know there's no way out,
Cause it's once in a lifetime.

I've always been so lonely,
No one ever needed a home,
There were nights was just so cold
Oh don't get me wrong
I've been around,
And I resign myself to thinkin',
Just another start often told,
Oh I've heard it all before
Finding so called love,
Then you leave it behind,
But now I feel so sure,
I listen to my heart this time
With my heart before my mind
I know that what

I've found is once in a lifetime
And I know there's no way out,
Cause it's once in a lifetime

Its not like
I’m running out of time
Takin’ everything is right
Just another thought I've found
Who’ll make me change my mind

I know that what I've found is once in a lifetime.. yeah
And I know there's no way out,
Cause it's once in a lifetime.

Words

"Forgive your enemies, never forget their names"

So much have been said...

...Hurtful words came out as wounding as how it was meant to come out.

Maybe

We're never sure of anything... in life, in love. Who would know what's in store? Who can tell what's next?

If we both decide to try and make it one more time
I hope we take the time to know each other well
And if the answers don't come quick we'll go with how it feels
And sometimes that's not yes or no

But - maybe there'll be no falling stars this time around
I still believe that - honesty is all we ever need
You and me again
Maybe

You keep asking me if I
I will love you for all time
If two of us will be enough to make us strong
And if we learn to keep it real and let each other grow
We'll find out there's no yes or no

Just maybe there'll be no falling stars this time around
I still believe that - honesty is all we'll ever need
Can we make it through
Maybe

No candles or guitars this time around
I still believe that - honesty is all we'll ever need
You and me again
Maybe

Maybe there'll be no falling stars this time around
I still believe that - honesty is all we'll ever need for us
Can we make it through
Maybe

I Just Had To Let It Out

“You never fail in making me feel unimportant. I don’t remember doing anything bad to you. I don’t understand why you have to treat this way. With me, I have always considered how and what you would feel. I wanted to get even with you, sumbatan ka! But I realized I don’t have to do that, I won’t do it. Kasi naisip ko na MAS MABUTING TAO PA RIN AKO KESA SYO.."

It was offensive I know, mean even..

..But I just had to let it out.

At Long Last

catching up at the hotel lobby lounge.

At long last...

Same Here

I am just as upset.

Home

After each and every storm you go through in life, where do you head back? Where do you gather strength to stand up and keep moving forward?

You go back HOME...

Home
Thinking back when we first met
I remember what you said
You said you'd never leave me
I let go of your hand
Built my castle in the sand
But now I'm reachin' out again
And I'm not letting go

Till you
Hold me
Mold me
Sometimes I feel so all alone
See I gotta find me way back home
So why don't you Shape me make me
Wash me whiter than the snow
I gotta find my way
Back home

Master upon my knees I pray
I just want to be the clay
Put your arms around me
Place my life in your hands Lord,
I know I'm just a man
I know you understand
This time I'm not letting go

Till you
Anoint me
Appoint me
Sometimes I feel so alone
See, I gotta find my way back home
So why don't you
Chastise me
Baptize me
Wash me whiter than the snow
I gotta find my way...

'Cause I'm lost and alone
I've been wandering
Long enough to know
Humbly I search for you
And I'm not gonna rest

Till you
Choose me
Use me
Sometimes I feel so alone
I'm on my way back home
So why don't you
Direct me
Bless me
Wash me whiter then the snow
I'm on my way
Back home

Unknown

What I am to you?

I'm dying to know...

Lessons Learned

• I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
• I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.
• I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others--they are more fucked up than you think.
• I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
• I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
• I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

What have you learned?

Take Your Pick

• Sometimes I Wish I Was A Little Kid Again.. Skinned Knees Are Easier To Fix Than Broken Hearts.
• Relationships Don't End They Just Change
• DONT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!
• In 3 Words I can Sum Up EVERYTHING I learned In Life.. IT GOES ON.
• "I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them."
• "I am not one of those who do not believe in love at first sight, but I believe in taking a second look."
• "One is such a lonely number."
• "You never know what you've got until it's gone."
• "Don't forget to be kind to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it."
• "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."
• "We too often love things and use people when we should be using things and loving people."
• "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
• "You love simply because you cannot help it."
• "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
• "How empty of me, To be so full of him."

Take your pick...

Life

Hay... Life. Buti sana kung may lovelife.

Until Then

It’s entirely a different spectacle for me… I settled on to see life behind. Get it over and done with… Let go.

When the right time comes, I’ll be completely set to deal with you once more. Until then, I can say that I’m over and done with you.

…Until then

Bubbles

As I amble around, bubbles filled the space of my walkway. Surprised, I turned to check where those froth came from… kids squalling bubbles to my direction to their heart’s content.

I thought, “These bubbles give us momentary satisfaction. Puffing air, you give enough effort for the bubbles to come out artistic and eye-catching... but then they go. They vanish, fade away and disappear.” Then you go over it once more, puff air, and you give out your strongest blow. Yet again, they vanish, fade away and disappear.

With love, you go through the same. You give your best effort to commit and dedicate, embracing faith that its there to settle and stay. It’ll offer you fleeting fulfillment and then it’ll just set off… giving you a wake up call that you can’t keep a hold of it and it’ll never come back no matter how much you strive to keep it. It is set to walk off.

It is...

For you... (you know who you are)
Wag Na Wag Mong Sasabihin

May gusto ka bang sabihin
Ba't di mapakali
Ni hindi makatingin
Sana'y wag mo na itong palipasin
At subukang lutasin
Sana'y sinabi mo na...
Iba'ng nararapat sa akin
Na tunay kong mamahalin

Wag na wag mong sasabihin
Na hindi mo nadama itong
Pag-ibig kong handang
Ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo

Ano man ang iyong akala
Na ako'y isang bituin
Na walang sasambahin
Di ko man ito ipakita
Abot langit ang daing
Sana'y sinabi mo na...
At sa gabi, sinong duduyan sa'yo...
At sa umaga, ang hangin ang hahaplos sa'yo...

Wag na wag mong sasabihin
Na hindi mo nadama itong
Pag-ibig kong handang
Ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo...

No One

It Will Be. I'm sorry we put so much into something that wasn't going to work out, and I'm sorry you didn't really have the nerve to tell me that you knew it wouldn't work out. But don't feel that anything was wasted because it was - I think, and I think you think -worthwhile. Somehow. And if it's not worthwhile now, I hope you'll trust me when I say it will be.
--www.trailerparkjesus.tk/111404


I hope you do realize...
No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE. --periwinkle15/112004

My Past, My Present, My Future

Last night. The longest I ever had. All jittery, in my most sapped feeling, I waited. Confused, I pleaded for compassion. Unsure of what happened… I entreated.

Today. The longest I ever have. All jittery, in my most sapped feeling, I am waiting. In confusion, I am pleading for compassion. Unsure of what’s happening… I entreat.

Tomorrow. The longest I’ll ever have. All jittery, in my most sapped feeling, I will wait. Still confused, I will plead for compassion. Still unsure of what will happen… I will entreat.

Will I Ever

When will I say I’m all set to leave you behind?
Would it be when I see you all geared up to deal with miseries on your own?
Or when I see you gather strength from someone else, not from me?
Will I make an effort and struggle to keep you?
Or will I just let go?

It will always be grueling to entrust someone I faithfully value and love
To somebody who he deems could give him more than what I can dedicate...
But it’ll be harder if I hang on and you don’t even heed that I still exist.

Tell me, when will I let go? Or will I ever...

42 Days To Go Before Christmas

“42 days to go before Christmas.” That’s what I saw in the Saturday newspaper this morning. I wasn’t really thinking about Christmas though; it’s the week before Christmas day’s what I actually thought of.

As early as this week, most of my friends sent text messages to remind me of my birthday. “hey, lapit na December, birthday mo na!”, “girl, lapit na xmas… lapit na birthday mo!” , “hoy! Malapit na birthday natin! San tayo?” I was moved, sincerely. It’s as if December’s not the holiday season for them, it’s my birthday! Without them reminding me, I may have forgotten. Oh shoot! I’ll be what? 26! I’ll be 26, December when? They didn’t have to remind me, I wish!

Age 26 and yet I’m into some indeterminate state. Am I not supposed to be certain of what I want at this point? Yeah sure, I know what I want. I want to have my own sweet and relaxing home, a car, a lucrative career, a big and I mean really huge amount of savings... all superficial. Most of the time, ruminating is a tough task. What is it really that I want? It’s hard because in the well-hidden piece of my mind, I know I can’t have it. It is but only in my dreams that I can truly take hold of it. I set myself to “I’m not sure of what I want to do with my life”, because I am timorous of failing. I am scared of not getting what I actually, really wanted to pull off. There are a lot of other reasons and it’s positive that I will never run out of it.

Everyone’s so enthusiastic of reminding me of my supposed special day, yet it scares me shitless. This is a heartrending moment for me… You can’t even envisage. Now, I’m not even confident if I am correct on what date my birthday is.

Another year will pass by me, another meaningless circle. Will the new phase be different from the last 25 years? With that, I am not sure.

I guess for now I better muse on what’s really with December… its “42 days to go before Christmas.”

My Angel, Tristan Gabriel

Tristan Gabriel Hernandez Book
My angel, the only one who makes my life worth living...

sleep, darling…
feathery lashes dark against
your porcelain cheek,
slight damp curlon your little neck,
oblivious in yournest of sleep.
my hand on your back,
my heart beats and swells
and my breath is slowly exhaled…
sleep, darling
sleep, darling…
the night steals in
and quiet surrounds
the house.
you are safe and
i am here;
i will be here when
dawn’s fingers come
slipping through the shades to
caress your
translucent skin…
sleep, darling

True To Life

While I make an effort to contemplate on how I can make this Tuesday afternoon prolific for me, I sit and opened the television to chill out first. I searched for some good stuff to watch… nothing. I came across to this old Tagalog movie for teenagers, a kilig movie at that. One scene struck me. Am I really seeing this? Baduy Tagalog movie they may say, but, “Totoo pala sinasabi nila, nangyayari sa totoong buhay yung napapanood mo sa pelikula… True to life as they commonly say.” I thought.

Butch: Leslie! Makinig ka naman muna!
Leslie: Makinig? Ikaw ang makinig sa akin! Kung bakit mo ginawa yon, siguro nga meron kang dahilan. Pero kung anuman yung dahilan mo… alam kong hindi tama.
Butch: Ginawa ko yun para syo.
Leslie: Para sa akin? O para syo? Kung para sa kabutihan ko yung ginawa mo, bakit ako nasasaktan? Bakit hindi ikaw?
Butch: Mahirap din para sa akin to Leslie... Mahal na mahal kita. Wala akong maibibigay syo. Hindi ko mababalik lahat ng ginagawa mo para sa akin. Mahirap lang ako.
Leslie: Bakit Butch? May hiningi ba ko syo? Nag-demmand ba ko? Nakilala kita ng ganyan ka. Alam ko kung ano ka. Tinanggap ko lahat, lahat kasama ng kung anong meron ka pati na kung anong wala ka...
Butch: Mahal na mahal kita Leslie! Pero wala akong silbi, hindi ko maibibigay syo lahat ng kailangan mo… Sana intindihin mo naman ako.
Leslie: Mahal? Hindi ko nakikita yung sinasabi mong mahal mo ko. Hindi mo gugustuhing saktan yung taong mahal mo Butch!

Does it make sense? Why do hurt them when we say we love them?

They Are There

"Just because you don't see the stars in the morning it means they're not there."Text message sent to me by a friend.

Is it? Yeah. It is true. Ang mga bituin daw kahit hindi mo nakikita sa umaga dahil natatabunan ng liwanag ng araw, hindi sila nawawala... Nandyan pa rin. It may be a little difficult to differentiate, define they're definite positions, where they exactly are, but they're there.

They are there...

If The Feeling Is Gone

I thought everything was alright... i was wrong. I have given my all, still i failed to make you love me...

How do you let go of something so precious? How do you let go of someone you believed made your life worth living for the second time around?

If The Feeling Is Gone

If the feeling is gone
please don't pretend that you still love me
I can see it in your eyes
and it hurts to admit it
I can tell that the feeling is gone

All i ask is just a little honesty
Though i know that you're not coming back to me
You know i'll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you go
If the feeling is gone

There is sadness in your smile
Though it try to conceive it
I can tell if the feeling is gone

All i ask is just a little honesty
Though i know that you're not coming back to me
You know i'll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you go
If the feeling is gone...

The Dash

in real life

How do you live your life? How do you spend your dash?

THE DASH
I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth...
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars....the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard...
are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at "dash mid-range.")
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile...
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy's being read
with your life's actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?

Three's A Company

Red, Jake and me! Bonding at 6750 Starbucks sometime september of 2004. Friendship started day1 Ateneo Grad School, Makati.

Search

What is it, really? What are we humans search for in this life?
When you achieve that one thing you've been looking for... Would be tough enough to let it go again if you find out it was not made for you to keep?
We keep on searching for worldly desires, is it really what we're looking for, after all?

I know not what I search for
But I know I have yet to find it
Because it is invisible to the eye
My heart must search for it blinded.

And if by chance I find it,
Will I know my mission is acheived?

Can one come to conclusions,
Before the question is conceived?
Just as no one knows what lies beyond the shore,
I will never find the answer to what it is that I search for.

My Baby Sister

Kamille Rose Calvento Hernandez
she's got the look... she got brains... she is one tough lady who'll conquer the commercial screen...

Through The Years

Our friends... through thick and thin, we promise to stay together.