A New Year's Resolution

I have forgiven you long time ago...

…and you’re not even saying sorry.

December Babies

I’m glad there’s you to smile at me
And brighten up my day,
To share my thoughts and understand
The things I do and say.

I’m glad there’s you to laugh with me
At ordinary things,
To show me what is special,
In everything life brings.

I’m glad there’s you to be with,
And I think it’s time you knew,
Just how happy you have made me,
And how glad I am there’s you!

Happy Birthday, you all.. Cheryl, Hux, Aasta, Chill, Papa Cesar, Mirma, Diane, John, Annie and Hux!

November Babies

You all deserve happiness in life… Enril, Chelou, Cel, Cheri, Apple.

Blessed be.

A Miracle called friendshipDwells within the heart
You don't know how it happensOr when it gets it's start
But the happiness it brings you,Always gives you a special lift
Then you realize that friendship

Is one of God's most precious gifts!

Happy Birthday!

Getting Better

"Decide to be nicer to yourself and take your time with this one. You’ve just come out of a relationship barely breathing; maybe you should give your heart a little warm up before jumping right back in."

Understand that the moving on process varies from case to case. For some people, it can take a few months or years. Others need only a few days. Accept the fact that in your case it's happened already.


– Tara FT Sering, Getting Better

Books, Books And More Books

I recently finished reading a short novel titled Getting Better by Tara FT Sering. Its a not so new novel by her, nevertheless, I found it really witty and at the same time, you learn something substantial from it. I’m on to its sequel, Almost Married.

Check it out girls. Have fun reading.

Happy Birthday: October Babies

"Happy Birthday" means much more
Than have a happy day.
Within these words lie lots of things
I never get to say.
It means I love you first of all,
Then thanks for all you do.
It means you mean a lot to me,
And that I'm proud of you.
But most of all, I guess it means
That I am thinking of
Your happiness on this, your day,
With pleasure and with all my love.

October babies: Wally, Joan, Bobby, Tita Thess, Nilda, Julius, and Brew

Sweet Love

How sweet it is to be loved by you..

Sam

I love you SAM!!!

My tired prince charming.. In love ako, in love ako!

Pinoy Big Brother

Pinoy Big Brother House

Omigosh!

Have you watched last night's PBB episode? Hihimatayin ako kay SAM! He's so cute and adorable (Check out the exclamation points!)! He danced the PBB theme song while he was in the shower 'coz that was a part of their daily task. Parang gusto ko siyang samahan sa shower room.. Eheh!

Kinikilig talaga ko.. Sorry, hindi ko mapigilan!

A Taste Of Heaven

I love Heaven 'N Eggs!

Yum, yum, yum! Enjoy and feast!

The Good News.

I had a soothing rub last night, which makes it a really good night sleep for me and a pleasant first light when I woke up this morning. I was excited, tensed at the same time. I’m scheduled for a Congenital Anomalies Ultrasound at 830am.

We were first to arrive when we got to the consulting room. The assistant said that the Doctor’s on his way and will be there any moment. I sat down, read the Sunday’s paper and tried to appease myself while waiting. Ten minutes or so, the doctor walked in the room and his assistant called on my name. Nag-sign of the cross pa ko habang pinapahiga ako and nagpe-prepare yung doctor ng gamit niya. While he was gliding the instrument on my belly at a snail's pace, he started to ask about my pregnancy. I answered each and every question, and then I slowly felt at ease. “Doc, makikita nyo na po if girl or boy sya?” I asked. “We’ll see, looks like a girl..” The doctor said. “Complete po yung fingers nya sa kamay and paa? Buo naman po yung lahat ng parts niya?” I realized, ang dami kong tanong, hindi naman kaya makulitan tong si doc?

Until at last he smiled and looked my way, “Tin, its a baby girl! Nakita ko na organ nya, gumalaw eh. Due to deliver is January 19, 2006.” It seemed the room was suddenly filled with cheerful and light thoughts. We were so, so pleased to hear the good news. Before this schedule, I prayed. I asked Him, “Lord, girl or boy, I just want him/her normal and healthy.. A healthy, safe and normal delivery for me, too.” God has given me so many blessings, I’m so thankful.

I would like to share this good news to all of you, my family, my friends, and to all who frequents this site. I know you too are as pleased to be part of this wonderful episode in my life.

More updates soon. Thank you!

My Dating Discoveries

After a four-year exclusive relationship, I suddenly found myself single and thrust into the world of dating. Thing is, I never was one to ‘date’—I wasn’t even clear on the concept of dating! All I knew was that there was a time when it was all quite simple: The Ligaw stage came first, followed by an MU (mutual whatever) stage, and finally, you were ‘on.’ These dating dynamics have definitely changed, but being the trooper that I was, I decided to give today’s dating a go. What did I have to lose?

I entered the dating circuit with gusto and tried different approaches, hoping to get a result that was favorable.

Playing the field. I started out as a serial dater. I went out on a string of dates—from setups with blind dates to familiar faces. The thing is, there was never a follow-up date. Great meals, great conversation—that was it. I then became a juggler, dating two men at the same time. The variety kept things interesting, but confusing: I had to take a second figure out what movie I watched with whom, and if I had already told one guy or the other my latest kwento. Several dates later and nowhere near Mr. Right or a committed relationship, I became a friend with benefits. Only one word can sum this whole experience: disaster. I decided to take a break—the whole idea of being constantly on the lookout for The One was exhausting.

Yet, the experiences didn’t go to waste. When I took on the persona of what I fondly call The Dating Demon, I had the opportunity to see what I really value. Dating had become a process for finding my self. The more encounters I had with different personalities, the more I discovered how and why I related to people the way I did.

I learned to be confident with what was right for me and what wasn’t I was even dating somebody for a few months but after awhile, I was no longer comfortable with the situation. I wanted something more, while he just wanted things the way they were. Because I knew I wasn’t ready to wait for him, I made the decision to stop seeing him. It hurt that he didn’t want me as much as I did him but I’m happier now. When I stepped back, I saw that the lifestyle he had was something I couldn’t really adjust to.

Dating me. I got to know myself and be the person I wanted to be. When you’re not committed to someone or even looking for someone, you give yourself the wonderful chance to just prioritize me. My time wasn’t dependent on anybody else’s schedule. I saw who I wanted to see. I did what I wanted to do. I had become self-sufficient and I didn’t need to depend on anybody but myself. Moreover, I learned that it’s okay to pass up on a date when all you want to do is hang out with the girls to watch a chick flick.

It’s been awhile since I started dating. It was awkward at first, but things are now nice and steady. Every twist and turn that came my way only gave me the courage to let nobody else define me but me. To anyone who is just about to date or is in the middle of the dating process, all I have to say is, this is your time. Make the most of it.

Meals And Men

If food is the way to a man’s heart, a great restaurant can be a woman’s gastronomic dream. These are a few of the countless restaurants I checked (courtesy of Cosmopolitan Philippines, September05 issue) and turned out to be truly satisfying to my appetite.

Hot Rocks
Club 650 Compound, Libis, Quezon City
Your guy will love you for letting him go out to dinner with you in his flip-flops. The food is so good, you can forego ambiance!

The Eats: Steak, steak and more steak! Priced from P140 to P170, Hot Rocks specialty steaks are from tender Batangas beef, with a juicy, flavorful bite to them. Special treats? Service is quick and friendly, and it gets even sweeter with Forget Me Not Specialty Cakes, the perfect finish to a steak dinner.

Bubba Gump
2/f Greenbelt3, Ayala Center, Makati City
Absolutely ‘Gump-y’ as the laid-back, friendly crew at Bubba Gump likes to call it, just like in the film which the restaurant was created, Forest Gump. You and your guy will need a couple of minutes taking in the cool, kitschy scenes from the movie, knick knacks, bric-bracs and costumes hung about the restaurant.

The Eats: At Bubba Gump, shrimp is what they do best. Try the Forest Shrimp Net Catch, with shrimp steamed in beer and spices, and starving sweethearts shouldn’t miss Bubba’s After Storm Bucket of Boat Trash, a happy mix of fried shrimp, slipper lobster, mahi-mahi and fries. Special treats? The Steak New Orleans’ cooked Cajun style and Chicken Cobb Salad is hearty with the fixins.

The Red Box
2/f Greenbelt3, Ayala Center, Makati City
Trendy, cool, and fun! Don’t’ be daunted by the maze-like layout—the rooms and hallways are cleverly color-coded. Choose any KTV room and you’re bound to find it extremely cozy and tastefully decorated. There’s no better place to dilute your worries after a stressful day at work. This Hong Kong franchise is the best of its kind here in Manila.

The Eats: Karaoke cuisine. From pica-pica specialties like the Buffalo Chicken Wings and Samosas that are easy enough to munch while waiting for your turn at the mike, to full-blown dishes like the Herb Roasted Chicken that you can eat at leisure. They have the Red Box Combination Platter of Mozzarella and Spinach Triangles. Cheese Sticks, Honey Wings, and Nutty Chicken Fingers. Special treats? They have a range of different sized rooms, so you can have a party of two or 12. for only P99 per person, you can enjoy a full buffet dinner with salads, grilled specialties, pasta and dessert.

Enjoy the good food with your lovey-dovey.. Enjoy life!

Lighter Shade Of Grey

For the last few months, I've been crossing things off my to-do lists with a fervor unparalleled in recent years. And with each completion, I breathe a sigh of utter relief and think to myself, "I'm glad that's over." I watched in passive horror as my life became a series of obstacles to be tackled. "Obstacles" that at almost any other time of my life I would have considered adventures, or at the very least, small treats to be savored like a glass of fine wine at the end of a long day.

I realized this last week as the weather chilled a bit and the first signs of the "-ber" months appeared. On my way to some place or other, as I longed for a bonnet on my head and a jacket to keep me warm and dry, I repeated what has become my mantra as of late: "I'm glad that's fucking over." As in summer and the rainy season after that. As in my favorite season of the year, the season that represents all that is good, gloomy, right and grey in the world.

To say I didn't enjoy my favorite season this year might be a bit of an understatement. I was depressed. And not in an "I want to kill myself, or at least start dressing in all black and wearing severe make-up like Angelina Jolie at the Oscars, the one where she made out with her brother" kind of way, but a more subtle sort of depression. One that kind of pollutes the air, hangs around like smog, turns my world an ashy shade of grey. And try as might, I couldn't seem to rise above it.

I can't recall the exact statistic, but there's a pretty high percentage of people who will experience what experts call "mild depression," or "dysthymia" at some point in their lives. Of course, other people suffer from it more than the rest because the world is simply an unfair place as evidenced by unwanted body hair, Republicans, and Kirstie Alley's career. Lots of things can trigger mild depression, but for me, I think it was a combination of boredom and loneliness. Or maybe it was the thought of a Britney offspring soon entering the world.

Whatever the exact reason, I was blue. And I use the word "was" cautiously because it's only in the last few days the fog has seemed to lift a bit and I'm starting to feel "normal" again. Maybe it's starting with my new job and being kicked back into a routine again, or reaching the platform just in time to catch the train the last 4 times in a row. The point is, I'm actually looking forward to things again, rather than seeing everything as an event on my to-do list to cross off and celebrate being done with.

If nothing else, watching that violent hurricane in LA and MS on tv and seeing the horrific aftermath and how devastating the loss for so many people has been and will continue to be, I can't help but think how fortunate I am to have nothing but boredom to bitch about.

Everyone should be so lucky.

borrowed from: trailerparkjesus

Hindi Ko Batid Ang Kasagutan

Madalas, naiisip ko kung ano ba talaga ang hinahanap ko sa buhay para maging masaya na nang lubusan. Walang materyal na hindi ko pa nakukuha kapag ninais ko. Ngunit pansamantala lang ang kaligayahang natatamo ko, pagkatapos noon, binabalot na naman ng dalamhati’t kalungkutan ang pagkatao ko. Mahirap nga yatang maging maligaya lalo na’t hindi mo alam kung ano ba talaga ang kulang o kung may kulang pa nga ba..

Sa mga nagdaang taon ng buhay ko, dumaan na ang ilang unos. Ilang beses na rin akong nakakita ng bahaghari sa bawat pagtatapos ng ulan o bagyo. Maraming pagkakataon rin namang maaliwalas ang paligid, na bughaw ang langit, nakangiti ang haring araw na tila ba nagsasabing masarap ang mabuhay. May mga gabing walang liwanag na binibigay ang buwan para magsilbing ilaw sa karimlan, ngunit mayroon rin namang mga panahong maliwanag, buung-buo ang buwan at maraming mga tala na bumubulong ng pag-asa, na mayroon kang magandang bukas na magigisnan. Lahat ng ito nakita ko, nagisnan ko, at marahil lahat ng ito ay dapat kong ipagpasalamat sa Kanya. Hindi lahat ay nabibigyang pagkakataon upang mamulat at mamalas ang lahat ng Kanyang gawa. Ngunit tao lang naman tayo, sabi nga ng marami, may mga bagay na hindi kayang bigyang kasagutan o di abot ng ating mababaw na kaisipan.

Bakit nga ba ang tao hindi makuntento? Bakit palagian na lang marami tayong tanong? Sa bawat problema, sa konting galos na matamo dulot ng sarili naman nating kagagawan? Sa bawat pagkakadapa o pagtatagumpay na natatamasa, hindi pwedeng hindi tayo magtatanong. “Bakit ganito, bakit ganon?” “Bakit ako pa, bakit hindi na lang iba?”

Marahil nga ang tao ay nilalang Niya upang siya mismong humanap at gumawa ng kanyang kapalaran. Mamili, maging maayos ang buhay o malihis ng daan. Marahil kung may kulang pa nga sa atin, tayo rin ang may sala.

Ano nga ba ang kulang? O may kulang pa nga ba? Kapag nahanap ko na ang sagot sa mga tanong, magiging lubos na ba ang kaligayahan ko?

Ako mismo, hindi ko batid ang kasagutan.

Get Over Him!

Unleash! In the case of a break—up, it’s okay to wallow in a bit of self—pity. In fact, you can wallow for as long as you want. You’ll find yourself waking up one day, totally tired of all the tears and realizing that you no longer feel sorry for yourself.

• Zone in on the day in, day out. Other times in life, it’s good to have five-year plan and think of the future. After a breakup, it’s better to concentrate on the days as they come. Don’t overwhelm yourself with the future–just take things one step at a time.
• See the silver lining. While things look bleak when someone breaks your heart, do realize that the world doesn’t end just because he stops loving you. For every good thing you miss about the relationship, remember something good that will come out of the separation.
• Keep the faith. Just because this relationship didn’t work out, doesn’t mean that love is a big joke and all guys are jerks. Everyone’s got a bit of good in them–even the jerks.
• Find a new hobby. Learn how to speak Portuguese, ask your driver to teach you how to change a tire, get involved in the photography club. Widen your horizons by taking up a new interest and tell yourself again and again that the world is a big and wonderful place.

Get over him!

Ways To Deal With Life's Burdens

• Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
• Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
• Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it
• Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
• If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
• If you lend someone 5thousand bucks and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
• Never buy a car you can't push.
• Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
• Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
• Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
• The second mouse gets the cheese.
• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
• You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
• Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

I'm All Set

It’s been a while. I had to break off from some of my usual comings and goings since I learned my present condition. Aside from having a difficult and delicate pregnancy, of course I have to be extra careful in doing so many things for me and the baby. I’m excited, though.

I miss a lot of things. From my regular eventful workday, I had to quit my job for awhile. I had to stay home most of the time and relax. It isn’t so hard for me to do such, I’m okay with it. I adjust easily, that’s how I am. No more late night outs, I have to sleep early. I hardly see most of my friends too. Come to think of it.. nakatipid yata ako ng husto don, eheh! I miss going to Coffee Bean and Starbucks, Greenbelt3.. that’s where me and my links hang out all the time. I easily get woozy lately, that’s the reason why I don’t watch movies for now.. big screens are scratched off totally. I have to keep an eye on what I eat all the time plus vitamins to take everyday to keep me and baby hale and hearty. What I hate? I must drink milk! Yaikks! What I find insufferable most? My usual clothes won’t fit anymore! Yep guys, it’s inconsolable! I’ve to shop for new and bigger sizes to fit and wait up till January2006 for me to wear those fashionable fitting attires I have in my closet.

Though I miss doing such things, all in all, I’m thrilled. I feel wonderful and in high spirits for this blessing. Even if I had to sacrifice some stuff that I enjoy for now, the thought of having another angel that will refresh and lighten up our already content existence makes it all worth it.

I'm all set!

Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying? "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart – the place where love resides."

A McDonald's Love Story

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonald's one cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking: "Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"

The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal. The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray. There was one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The little old man unwrap the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted out the French fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites. Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. - "They were used to sharing everything."

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink. A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal.The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.

As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again. After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything. “What is it that you are waiting for?" She answered,


"THE TEETH"

Joke Time

• A squirrel who runs up a woman's leg does not find nuts.
• When I was born, I got a choice - a big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember .. what did I choose?
• Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
• My wife is a sex object. Everytime I ask for sex, she objects.
• Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
• There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop .. Unless they are used together.
• Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
• There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
  Virginity can be cured.
• Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
• I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
• Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 31/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
• Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed," many men still sleep with their wives!
• Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
• A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing..
• Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
• Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.
• Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: It's because breasts don't have eyes.

Toxic Love Thoughts To Unload Now

Your guy totally adores you. The signs are all there: He’s finally overcome his allergy to PDAs, he calls on the regular just to check in, and hell, maybe he even keeps a toothbrush at your place. But although the relationship seems rock solid on paper, there’s still a part of you—albeit a small one—that feels, well, nervous. Like the connection might combust at any moment. Yeah, it’s irrational, but we’ve all been there. So before you let your insecurities mess with your relationship, not to mention push your beau to the brink, read this wake-up call.

His eye wanders sometimes—
I bet he's looking for a girlfriend upgrade. A hot chick walks by, and your boyfriend’s eyeballs make a beeline for her booty. Blame it on biology. Men are hardwired to look. And it’s not just your guy who goes buggy over some random beauty; it’s all guys, so your only real choice is to accept it. But ease your mind with this: Just because he looks, it doesn’t mean he wants to touch. “There’s an element of detachment when a man is checking out an anonymous woman,” says clinical psychologist Deirdre Kanakis, PhD, relationship coach at Marriage for Keeps, in Newport Beach, California. He sees a nice butt, but that’s all it is, an appealing body part. He’s not trying to make an emotional connection-it’s purely a visual response.

My last relationship bombed, so this one probably will, too.—
You’ve had a few gnarly breakups. Who hasn’t? But being convinced that you’re destined for a subsequent split is really the only thing sealing your fate. You have to shake off the psychological curse by owning some of the blame. “Recognize that whenever there’s a series of failed relationships, the only thing that’s consistent is you, so you ought to make a few changes.” Sounds harsh, but taking responsibility for the unraveling puts you in control, which is downright empowering. So start sifting through the romantic wreckage. Take stock of why past relationships ended, and assess the role you played in the demise. Then acknowledge any patterns.

I'm just not the perfect girlfriend that he wants.—
You know who’s kinda perfect? That Bree Van De Kamp chick on Desperate Housewives with the pre-prison Martha Stewart vibe. Her guy loves her gourmet meals, flawless hair flip, and pathological dedication to keeping up appearances so much that he filed for divorce. The truth is, perfectionism is intimidating because it makes men feel as if they’ll never be good enough for you. Of course, there’s no denying the pressure to be flawless. Thankfully, your guy’s perception of perfection is probably much different than yours. Moral of the story: Most guys don’t want to feel as if they’re sleeping with a show pony, so stop feeling angst over the impossible.

Who Should Make The Coffee?

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." The wife replied, "No, you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should make the coffee." The husband replied, "I can't believe that; show me!" So she got the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........

"HEBREWS"

A Memorandum

Today I resurrect
Amid the pages
Long kept, long forgotten
Scribbled in papers of life reminiscences
How should I know
Amidst its mildewed pages
And ant-eaten ridges
Could I find a part of me I own?
Lest I forgot—
Lest I wallowed in the ordinary
Incessant daily bickering
Of some self-images in fitting familiarity
These years
Some linked tears
Blotching in creamy stares
Reverberate a child’s dream
Rising distinctly amidst waves of faces
To claim a place on lofty plane
A touch distant to soaring eagles

But God is good—
I received a memorandum today
Just in time to remind me—
Who I am—

My Dad's Tool Box

My dad’s tool box is lot like him.
Sturdy, been through a lot.
Made for hard work;
Held more inside than you’d ever guess.
Sometimes, he’d ask me to pass him a tool,
And I’d know what he knew—
How it felt to set things right,
To make things better, to care.
Over the years, my dad’s tool box
Has gotten heavy—
Heavy with memories.
Shiny.
Timeworn.
Each perfect in its way.
Memories that a dad makes..
Of things set right,
Of a world where two hands
And a good heart still make a difference.

Against All Odds

How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath
With you, ooh-ooh
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Coz we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now,
Oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Ooh Take a look at me now,
Well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds
And that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now,
Well there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Now take a look at me now,
Cos there's just an empty space
But to wait for you,
Is all I can do and that's what I've got to face

Take a good look at me now,
Cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It's the chance I've gotta take

Did It Ever Happen To You?

“Did it ever happen to you?” A close friend of mine once asked me. I sensed the seriousness in her voice. “Happened what?” I asked. A long pause from her, she heaved a sigh and said, ”All along you thought you were so useful (valuable) for one person, and then after a while you figure things and find out the brutal hurtful truth, your existence was not good enough and all sham. You were nothing, of no use… worthless.”

I was a little surprised. Her face was straight, not a single tear fell. I presumed she’s all numbed. For the first time in my life, in that particular circumstance, I didn’t know how to react in response.

At one point in my life I also felt what my friend’s experiencing at that exact moment. I just didn’t know how to tell her our dissimilarity.. that right from the outset, I knew it was just all for convenience.

Did it ever happen to you?

Bag It!

Lacoste


I want this bag! I have long wanted it.

I can buy it as gift for myself, but there's this feeling in me. "Parang hinihintay ko na may magbigay sa akin nito.."

Sigh.

Accept. Let Go. Move Forward.

Sometimes no matter how happy you are, no matter how willing you are to keep it. Be it with something or with someone… you have to be prepared to accept, to let go, and to move forward.

A Fairy Tale

One day, a prince went to his garden and found a beautiful rose growing in a corner.

“My, what a beautiful rose you are.” The prince said. “In this entire garden, you are the most beautiful, and I shall spend all my waking mornings staring at you. I will love you rose, my rose, and I will never get tired of visiting you.”

The rose was happy. She blushed.. Yet lifted her pretty little head and said: “Thank you handsome prince. Visit me everyday. I will devote all my days to making myself more beautiful for you, and will look forward to your daily visits."

And so it was. For many weeks, the prince woke up and went straight to the garden to stare at his rose. They would share stories about their different worlds, and would get lost in one where only a prince and a special rose could love each other. Sometimes, the prince would not want to go to bed in order to be with his rose. He loved her. And his rose loved him back and tried hard to make herself as pretty as she could for him. All was well and happiness flourished in the corner of the kingdom’s garden.

But one night, a storm came and huge raindrops fell all over the garden. The rose woke up the following morning and found herself drenched all over. “Brrrrr.. What a cold night that was. I am soaked all over. But I am happy because the prince will be here soon and we can share a warm and sunny day again.”

And soon enough, the prince came. But he could not recognize his rose. Not until he heard a little voice say: “I am here, my prince.. Just a little drenched by the rain, but I am still here. Come and talk to me. I am yearning to hear about all your stories and I shall tell you about all the raindrops I spoke to last night.”

The prince turned to the little voice’s direction and was surprised. His beautiful rose’s petals were drooping. He tried to hide his reaction and forced himself to talk; “Ah, it is you, my rose. I am sorry if I was not able to recognize you right away. I have a headache from the cold but yes, I will sit with you and tell you more stories.” And so he sat by her. But he could not seem to stare at the rose very long for her petals were drooping and her bright red color had turned into a dark dreary one. And so after a couple of stories, he stood up.

“Where are you going” The rose asked.

“I forgot to tell you..” the prince explained. “I have to visit my father because he is all alone in the castle. I must go to him at once.”

“But don’t you usually have dinner with him at the end of the day”? We will not be able to watch the sunset together.” The rose replied.

“Things have changed.” The prince said. “He wants to see me at an earlier time. Do not worry, I will be back tomorrow” And so the prince left.

And the rose was left to wonder about how it felt to watch the sunset alone again. Because she was so used to watching it with the prince, she didn’t think she knew how to appreciate it without hearing his stories of how the sun came to be and why it set at night.

“I shall not worry. He will be back tomorrow” The rose told herself.

And he did. But their tomorrows came less and less. There would be times when the prince wouldn’t come. Or times when he wouldn’t stay for long muttering that he had to work, or had to go to town to get a new sword or simply, that he was just too tired to sit down and talk like before.

The rose was sad. She began to feel ugly and soon enough, her fears turned to reality.. Her petals began to fall. “The prince did not want me when my petals were drenched. He came less and less. Now, he will not want me at all, for one day, all my petals will fall and I will no longer be his most beautiful flower.”

Days passed without the prince coming into the garden. He was being groomed to be king and being king was a heavy responsibility. Besides, he thought to himself “My rose needs time alone in order to make herself more beautiful again. And I need time in order to learn how to be a proper king. After all this, we shall be the way we were once more.. Except that I will be richer and more powerful and I will be able to get all the experts to take care of my rose.. and she will have nothing else to do but prettify herself and will be even more beautiful when I see her again!”

So time came and went. The prince was crowned king in a grand parade and as he passed by, the throngs of people cheered him on and threw stems of roses at him.

“Ah, but what of my rose! I wonder what she is doing now. I shall visit her at once” And so he went straight to the garden with the purpose of seeing his rose again. He would tell her that he missed her and that it was wonderful to be king. And they would share the moonlit night together, just like before.

But when he came to the corner where his rose used to be, she was no longer there. “Where is my rose” The prince turned king asked.

And out of the bushes, a daffodil answered:

“The rose that lived here is gone. Many days, I would see her in her corner waiting and waiting for something.. Or someone. And nights I would hear her cry.. I would tell her to stop because crying made her petals wet and more likely to fall off. But she continued crying and waiting. That’s all she ever did. I was with her last night when she withered. And the only thing I heard her say was: “The prince’s love for me lessened because a storm made my petals droop. It is not likely that a king would want to watch the sunset with me now.”

At that instant, the rose forced her remaining beautiful petals to fall. She did not want them to grow back again.. Because her prince did not understand that she would not love him any less if he didn’t become a king. Because her prince could not love her imperfections. Because her prince had all the time to think about what was best for their futures, but not of their present love. Despite her not knowing how to be without him, she would have rather wilted than live with the thought of living a fake fairytale about a prince turned king and a rose that was kept beautiful forever.

And the daffodil continued.. ”Ah, but how she loved her prince.”

Borrowed from jeannie's lj

You Know Why I Love You?

Man: You know why I love you? I love you because you believe that I can be a better version of me..

Woman: (in her mind) I wish you love me because I am me..

Good Or Bad

I am in a perplexed spot. Gulung-gulo na ko.. iba-ibang signs! I’m so confused; I couldn’t distinguish whether it’s a bad hint or a good indication.

I Am Lucky

I thought things will be as complicated as COMPLICATED.. Yet it was otherwise. I often tell myself, I can’t count on anyone else but me. Though I’m two hundred percent sure I’ve my family, my friends and a gazillion of relatives to back me up, I’m used to doing things by myself; as in solving problems, dealing with difficulties, unraveling facts and truths about life, etc. That is me.

With this predicament I’m going through right now, it’s pretty hard to be expecting. I’m starting to weigh every single detail, what to do and how to deal with it. Thinking of going from beginning to end alone is tough enough; I try not to feel fear.

I didn’t know what got to me, but I found myself holding close courage; I took chance and saw myself in front of the two people who I owe everything I have now. In between snivels and sobs, I lay opened all. After our talk with buckets of tears on the side, I felt relieved. Nothing can ever go one better than mom and dad’s embrace and reassuring words.

Ganon pala yon, maiiyak ka na lang sa sobrang saya mo. Yung alam mong magiging okay pa rin pagkatapos ng lahat kahit na nagsimula ka sa hindi masyadong okay na sitwasyon.

I should call myself lucky… I am so d*mn LUCKY!

By Hook Or By Crook

I have to put things in order as early as now. Just like how I organize events, activities and affairs for other people. Funny, most of them of who knows how I seriously take my job can’t believe I screw in organizing my own life. What an irony.

I’m scared, shitless! I’ve to bear it though, I’m all by myself. I can’t expect anything from anyone.. masakit, mahirap ma-disappoint. I can only be certain of myself.

I can do this. I will get by.. I know I will.

Out Of My League

This song's one of my favorites.. Yung tipong naiiyak ako whenever I hear it play.

No unpleasant adjectives to describe how he feels for the woman she loves; all breath-taking and beyond belief. He sings what his heart says.

Before, I used to say to myself, "Sana may person na ganito yung esaktong nararamdaman for me.. I wish. "

It's her hair and her eyes today
That just simply take me away
And the feeling that I'm falling further in love
Makes me shiver but in a good way
All the times I have sat and stared
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
And she purses her lips, bats her eyes
And she plays with me sittin there slacked jaw
And nothing to say

Coz I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Coz she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again

It's a masterful melody
When she calls out my name to me
As the world spins around her
She laughs, close her eyes
And I feel like I'm fallin but it's no surprise.
Coz I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Coz it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I'd rather be here than on land
Yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again.

It's her hair and her eyes today
That just simply take me away
And the feeling that I'm falling further in love
Makes me shiver but in a good way
Often times I have sat and stared
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
As she purses her lips, bats her eyes
And she plays with me sittin there slacked jaw
And nothing to say.

Coz I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Coz it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I'd rather be here than on land
Yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again.

---Stephen Speaks

What's The Difference?!

I’m all awake.

I have been doing some serious pondering these past few (or many) nights (up till dawn). It’s something major and critical; or maybe not critical, just considerably crucial.

Heck! What’s difference between the two?!

I'll See

Its Star Wars advance screening tonight, everyone’s so up about it. In fact, I’ve tickets for it too! For me alone, I won’t buzz if I don’t get to see the film… I was just dragged (poor term. Tsk.) that’s why I’m watching it. Growing up, I didn’t find it exhilarating. Maybe it’s because I was more exposed to goodie-goodie movies; the ‘and they lived happily ever after’ tales. Nothing’s wrong with that, I believe. After all, we have different likes and dislikes.

Tonight, I will watch it. I’ll see if I’ll be impressed..

..And change my mind eventually.

When The Lightning Strikes

A good friend of mine had once written a story about herself. “When The Lightning Strikes.” That was the title of the story. While she was reading it to the class, I knew she felt as if it was happening all over again. She nearly cried. The story was sentimental, I felt gushy. She shared a part of her life that one can relate and be attached to it.

Back then, we were 23 in class… all new faces. I barely know her, I knew nothing but her name (can’t even recall if I liked her the first time). Though she was one of the few people who were really at ease in talking about their private and delicate lives, I sensed in her fear and worry.

She found out she’s pregnant. My friend’s civil status? Single, in a relationship. That was the lightning she was referring to in her story. My friend at that time didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t even sure if her partner can still be called the ‘significant other’ in her current situation. She took risk, broke the news to her partner, and with dread, time lagged for his reaction. Moments of silence passed. No distinct reaction on his face. He seemed hit by a lightning too.

After minutes of stillness, finally he moved. Fixed his eyes on her, held her hand and with a soft voice he said, “We’ll get through this together. It’s going to be alright.” And he gave her a kiss on the forehead.

She didn’t think he’ll stay. My friend was certain before the talk, whether or not he’ll be there for her; the baby’s going to be okay. That she’ll pull through. She’s all relieved. She rose above every difficulty. She managed to deal with it as positively as she can. God has blessed her. She’s happy.

I am so proud of my friend. She’s all hopeful, confident and optimistic. Not everyone can face it like how she did.

When the lightning strikes straight onto your face? What will you do?

Dreamcatcher

There's someone out there I always think of running into. Someone I loved and lost, someone who's very memory makes my heart skip a beat in needless anticipation of meeting her on some nameless street corner and falling back in love, or taking hold of some long awaited closure.

The last thing we said to each other was, 'We'll talk about this later.' After two years, countless disagreements redeemed by unconditional love, laughter, solidarity, understanding, unlimited patience. We spoke to each other on the telephone with no where else to go and said, 'We'll talk about this later.'

We never spoke again.

She made me emotional, taught me how to feel deeply. How to uncover the depths of who I'm meant to be, taught me to live as real as possible. She made me vulnerable, honest about who I am, taught me to be confident in the way I see the world. She made me shrug off jealous insults, taught me to be the bigger person.

I dream about her now. Nights interrupted by images of us. I see picture frames graced with our faces; optimistic, smiling, brimming with love. I see us taking long walks. Long drives. Vacations. I wonder if we could possibly have that same kind of naivety and be together, if it would work out now as adults having learned from our mistakes.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, expect to see her across a crowd, be reunited in some airport terminal as we both depart for far off places on opposite sides of the globe.

I think of having coffee together, reminiscing. Our laughter overflowing from places kept secret from present day loves, momentarily slipping back into our shared past and finding peace. I think about closure, how I might not be able to really replace her and our memories until we actually talk about it later.

Then I wake up.

--borrowed from trailerparkjesus

The First Step

To take the first step
Is a frightening thing.
To face the unknown
The uncertainty it brings.
But like the child
Who is tired of the crawl,
The first step is
The most important of all.

It expands your horizons,
You can see a new light.
The joy of discovery
Is like taking flight.
The first step you take
Will open all doors,
To see yourself as
You’ve seen you before.

And, like the child
Who gives it his all,
Sometimes he falters,
He will teeter and fall.
But strong arms are there
To catch him and then,
They stand him back up
To start walking again.

The longest journey,
Takes one step at a time,
But once you get going
You’ll do just fine.
Take my hand, love
I’ll help you along
I’ll be right beside you..
As two we’ll be strong.

Yes, that first step’s a big one,
The most important of all.
But I’ll be there to catch you
Should you teeter and fall.
We’ll set our sights forward
Grit our teeth and walk on..
When we see that road ending,
We’ll break into a run.

I love you, I’ll help you
All the way through.
But to take that first step,
Well.. that’s up to you.

--Rabona Turner Gordon

Over Him.. Are You or Are You Not?

Through with an agonizing break-up? See if you fit in, in one of these two categories.

You are over him if..

• You replace him on your speed dial with your fancy new hairdresser.
• You meet a girl you think would be perfect for your ex.
• You delete his old lovely e-mails -- they're sucking up too much RAM.
• You define love as something you've gotten a little taste of and can't wait to experience more fully in the future.
• You find his old shirt you used to sleep in -- and use it to wax your Honda City.
• You feel sorry for attached friends for missing out on all the men.
• You dust off the micromini he always called Courtney Love-level trashy.

You aren't if..

• You call him from a pay phone number he can't trace just to hear his voice.
• You pay your friends to spy on him and report back if he's with a woman.
• You can quote every letter, card, and Post-it note he ever wrote you.
• You define love as a deep festering wound that just won't heal as long as your heart's still beating
• You won't wash the shirt he left at your place since it smells like him.
• You haven't worn anything without an elastic waistband since the breakup.

You Da Man

Dearest Jardine,

You deserve all the good that’s coming your way, and I know how much this means to you. You’ve looked forward to this moment for a long time. You’ve worked toward it (and you’ve worried about it).. And now it’s finally here!

I don’t know of anyone who’s worked and planned as hard or used their talents as well. You know how to set goals, use your time wisely, and get things done right. You may not think those are usual traits, but they are! You know what you want to achieve and you go after it –one step at a time. You work around obstacles in your way, and don’t let small setbacks discourage you. So it isn’t at all surprising you’ve met your goal.

Everyone who knows you will say you were meant to succeed.. And a lot of people have been pulling for you. Your positive outlook is contagious, and your determination is an inspiration to everyone around you.

You truly deserve it. Keep it up.

Disheartened And Lonesome

I am surrounded by disheartened and lonesome individuals. I am actually worried, nakakahawa kaya ang pagiging malungkot! I won’t get into exact details to any further extent. I just feel these people don’t deserve to suffer such sentiments.

I hope things get better in next to no time. Other than feeling so concerned for them.. Ayoko pong mahawa, parang awa nyo na!

You will get by.. don’t worry. I know so.