After a four-year exclusive relationship, I suddenly found myself single and thrust into the world of dating. Thing is, I never was one to ‘date’—I wasn’t even clear on the concept of dating! All I knew was that there was a time when it was all quite simple: The Ligaw stage came first, followed by an MU (mutual whatever) stage, and finally, you were ‘on.’ These dating dynamics have definitely changed, but being the trooper that I was, I decided to give today’s dating a go. What did I have to lose?
I entered the dating circuit with gusto and tried different approaches, hoping to get a result that was favorable.
Playing the field. I started out as a serial dater. I went out on a string of dates—from setups with blind dates to familiar faces. The thing is, there was never a follow-up date. Great meals, great conversation—that was it. I then became a juggler, dating two men at the same time. The variety kept things interesting, but confusing: I had to take a second figure out what movie I watched with whom, and if I had already told one guy or the other my latest kwento. Several dates later and nowhere near Mr. Right or a committed relationship, I became a friend with benefits. Only one word can sum this whole experience: disaster. I decided to take a break—the whole idea of being constantly on the lookout for The One was exhausting.
Yet, the experiences didn’t go to waste. When I took on the persona of what I fondly call The Dating Demon, I had the opportunity to see what I really value. Dating had become a process for finding my self. The more encounters I had with different personalities, the more I discovered how and why I related to people the way I did.
I learned to be confident with what was right for me and what wasn’t I was even dating somebody for a few months but after awhile, I was no longer comfortable with the situation. I wanted something more, while he just wanted things the way they were. Because I knew I wasn’t ready to wait for him, I made the decision to stop seeing him. It hurt that he didn’t want me as much as I did him but I’m happier now. When I stepped back, I saw that the lifestyle he had was something I couldn’t really adjust to.
Dating me. I got to know myself and be the person I wanted to be. When you’re not committed to someone or even looking for someone, you give yourself the wonderful chance to just prioritize me. My time wasn’t dependent on anybody else’s schedule. I saw who I wanted to see. I did what I wanted to do. I had become self-sufficient and I didn’t need to depend on anybody but myself. Moreover, I learned that it’s okay to pass up on a date when all you want to do is hang out with the girls to watch a chick flick.
It’s been awhile since I started dating. It was awkward at first, but things are now nice and steady. Every twist and turn that came my way only gave me the courage to let nobody else define me but me. To anyone who is just about to date or is in the middle of the dating process, all I have to say is, this is your time. Make the most of it.
I entered the dating circuit with gusto and tried different approaches, hoping to get a result that was favorable.
Playing the field. I started out as a serial dater. I went out on a string of dates—from setups with blind dates to familiar faces. The thing is, there was never a follow-up date. Great meals, great conversation—that was it. I then became a juggler, dating two men at the same time. The variety kept things interesting, but confusing: I had to take a second figure out what movie I watched with whom, and if I had already told one guy or the other my latest kwento. Several dates later and nowhere near Mr. Right or a committed relationship, I became a friend with benefits. Only one word can sum this whole experience: disaster. I decided to take a break—the whole idea of being constantly on the lookout for The One was exhausting.
Yet, the experiences didn’t go to waste. When I took on the persona of what I fondly call The Dating Demon, I had the opportunity to see what I really value. Dating had become a process for finding my self. The more encounters I had with different personalities, the more I discovered how and why I related to people the way I did.
I learned to be confident with what was right for me and what wasn’t I was even dating somebody for a few months but after awhile, I was no longer comfortable with the situation. I wanted something more, while he just wanted things the way they were. Because I knew I wasn’t ready to wait for him, I made the decision to stop seeing him. It hurt that he didn’t want me as much as I did him but I’m happier now. When I stepped back, I saw that the lifestyle he had was something I couldn’t really adjust to.
Dating me. I got to know myself and be the person I wanted to be. When you’re not committed to someone or even looking for someone, you give yourself the wonderful chance to just prioritize me. My time wasn’t dependent on anybody else’s schedule. I saw who I wanted to see. I did what I wanted to do. I had become self-sufficient and I didn’t need to depend on anybody but myself. Moreover, I learned that it’s okay to pass up on a date when all you want to do is hang out with the girls to watch a chick flick.
It’s been awhile since I started dating. It was awkward at first, but things are now nice and steady. Every twist and turn that came my way only gave me the courage to let nobody else define me but me. To anyone who is just about to date or is in the middle of the dating process, all I have to say is, this is your time. Make the most of it.
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