All Endings Are Beginnings (final scene)

It was nothing romantic. He just asked if I could stay a little longer ‘coz he simply wanted the coolness that the car air conditioner provides. It was a familiar scene for us. We park somewhere, stay inside the car and just chit-chat. I guess that’s what ‘kept us’ for awhile. We take pleasure in speaking our minds out to each other without vacillations.

“Sure...” I granted. “Lord, just a little more time with him…I promise this is the last of it.” My inside thoughts. I settled to my seat and stared at him, while he, resting his head on the rest with eyes closed. I couldn’t help myself; I can’t let this moment pass. This will be the last time I’ll be seeing him. Or until the time I’d be ready to forgive and forget. The damage it has caused me is not something as easy like a Sunday morning. I whispered, ‘I love you, beh,’ that only my conscience could heed.

To keep the soft mood, I tried to come up with something to talk about. “Okay ka na ba ngayon?” I questioned. He opened his eyes and gazed at me. “What do you mean?” he asked back. “If mas okay ka na ngayong wala ako...” I barely heard my voice. I wasn’t fishing; I just wanted to make sure he’s alright. And that estrangement from me made his life uncomplicated. “It’s not it… You know that.” He said. From there, we started a conversation, one led to another. As anticipated, we didn’t agree on some issues and finished off exclaiming, “Okay, whatever!” He stayed a little more and then I decided that it was time to go.

‘Time to go’ has a diverse sense. But for me, it only meant one thing… Wrap up. Go on with my life, move on. I don’t know how and where to start. I guess I’ll just figure it out as I move along. That was my chief goal anyway; to clear things up with him so I can move forward and recoup the serenity that I truly missed since these things started in full swing. It’ll be arduous on my part but I’ll get by, by all means.

I tried hard not to be poignant. “You take care. This’ll be the last time I’m talking to you and I’m changing my mobile number anytime next week. Don’t worry, I won’t be sending you spam mails anymore. Basta, ingat ka na lang palagi and I hope things get better soon,” were my last words to him. He just said that it’s all up to me. Then just before he opened the car door, he said, “Alam ko iiwas ka eh. Neverthless…” and he embraced me, it was a tight hug. It’s as if we both knew that, that was really our last glimpse on each other. While at it, he gave me a kiss on the cheek, it was longer than his usual kiss, and then he whispered to me, “thank you.” The used to be ‘I love you’ word is now ‘thank you.’ Things change, right. Or maybe, there wasn’t really ‘I love you’ at all. I had to relax myself before I was able to move any bit.

At then he’s gone.

It passed my mind that truly, ALL ENDINGS ARE BEGINNINGS… WE JUST DON’T KNOW IT AT THE TIME. I learned that from the book I’m into right now. While writing this, I can’t help but agree with it. We may have not sensed it at the time of the ‘ending,’ but certainly endings are just the start of something new for us. Be it in love, career or whatever aspect in our life that has ended.

I may have tripped or made a terrible mistake for assuming something out of nothing. One person may have let me feel worthless or even of no great concern, but I know this ‘ending’ hasn’t changed any bit of me. I am positive about it. I know who I am and I am worthy. I am worth it.

Now, I am confident that my ‘beginning’ has started.