All Endings Are Beginnings (scene2)

“Nothing, forget about it.” He said while giving me that ‘you-don’t-have-to-know’ beaming look. I didn’t believe it. I knew there was more to it. “What was it?!” I was determined, I really want to know. What was it that he appreciates? In the past months that we’re together, he hardly said that… that he appreciates what I say or do. Most of the time, we’re extremes. We jar over certain issues and our views often are at opposite ends. Nevertheless, we get along well.

Back then, we share good laughs, we enjoy exchanging notes on life matters, be it our own or someone else’s. We share problems, from simple to complicated ones. We even cry together… Well, mostly him. He cries when things just don’t go the way he expected it to be or just when he feels so upset, frustrated and disappointed to people… and I was there to console him. I am his ‘partner.’ That’s what I was for him, as far as I know. I’d always say, “Beh, okay lang yan. We’ll get through this together. Hwag ka na umiyak.” And I’d embrace him snugly, making him feel safe and that everything’s gonna be alright.

We’d brawl over small things. We kiss and make up. We say ‘I love you’ to each other… That’s why I thought we had something. We never clearly talked about it, but I knew we were on the ‘more than friends’ status. That was before he informed me, “We’re just close friends, for me at least. And that was one of the reasons why I distanced myself to you.” Bull’s eye, right on my face! It was as if someone just smacked me big time.

“I’m sorry. I really thought we had something.” Whew! That was one tough task, but I managed to say it with grace. I even smiled. I need not as a matter of fact, should’ve said that. As far as I can remember, I’m the one who’s duped.

“Ano na nga yung naa-appreciate mo? Go!” Trust me when I say, I’ll never stop. Then he looked my way and seriously said, “I appreciate you, still calling me ‘beh’ up till now.” Okay. I called him that and I didn’t realize it at all. I guess ‘coz it’s something you’re used to saying… old habits die hard. Throughout the ride, I’d say we survived each other’s presence. He parked along the side street near his place; and stayed inside the car still. He rested his head and looked at me, “Can you stay a little longer?” he asked.