At two in the morning, I lie awake in bed. Not minding his nearness or so very much minding it, I thought of so many things involving the both of us. I don’t know, but at that exact moment I knew I was feeling the same emotions I sensed from way back. It has been awhile since I last felt that unfilled, hollow sentiment. And I am guessing now, it’s here yet again.
I always depict that happy, easy look on me. I take things laid-back, no matter how hard-hitting the pain is. Have you, yourself ever experienced feeling so in love; keeping it to yourself it hurts so bad that you just want to scream it out like the hell you care? I am that.
Why?
There are a lot to consider. The present state, existing condition, both his and mine. Our dreams that need to pursue, goals to attain, responsibilities and obligations in our hands, more outstandingly, the intimates in our lives. More so when I tell you I am not even sure if he feels the same way or will he ever feel the same love for me, like I feel for him. Ewan ko, gulung-gulo na rin ko… ang na sakit sa ulo! Questions like, for how long I’ve to wait, until when I can hold on, or if and when that time comes, will I still be there to welcome and embrace it? I am uncertain.
I stared to the next person lying in the same bed. Hindi ako sigurado kung siya nga yung nakikita ko…Malabo na paningin ko, inaantok na yata ako. For now, all I’ve to do is be just me, the same me. Keep my high hopes, continue moving forward, and be all set to what the future holds tight for the both of us, or me for that matter.
For now, what’s best for me? Sleep.
I always depict that happy, easy look on me. I take things laid-back, no matter how hard-hitting the pain is. Have you, yourself ever experienced feeling so in love; keeping it to yourself it hurts so bad that you just want to scream it out like the hell you care? I am that.
Why?
There are a lot to consider. The present state, existing condition, both his and mine. Our dreams that need to pursue, goals to attain, responsibilities and obligations in our hands, more outstandingly, the intimates in our lives. More so when I tell you I am not even sure if he feels the same way or will he ever feel the same love for me, like I feel for him. Ewan ko, gulung-gulo na rin ko… ang na sakit sa ulo! Questions like, for how long I’ve to wait, until when I can hold on, or if and when that time comes, will I still be there to welcome and embrace it? I am uncertain.
I stared to the next person lying in the same bed. Hindi ako sigurado kung siya nga yung nakikita ko…Malabo na paningin ko, inaantok na yata ako. For now, all I’ve to do is be just me, the same me. Keep my high hopes, continue moving forward, and be all set to what the future holds tight for the both of us, or me for that matter.
For now, what’s best for me? Sleep.
2 comments:
hiyee!
i know how it feels.. keep up dear.
i was once there, now i'm okay. i'm alright.. in time it'll heal.
many kisses. ---ains
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